Monday, September 19, 2011

Having a Pity-Party for Myself & Only I'm Invited

I hate job hunting. I've been looking for work for over 6 months now and nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero. I feel like it's taken me so much time and energy and money to get to where I am. It was scary to leave my secure job with its good pay and cushy hours and benefits and great bosses and leap into the huge void of "The Unknown". School was so tough, but so rewarding. Hours upon hours spent in the cold and rain, slogging in the mud and muck, staying up until all hours of the morning studying, clinging to cups of coffee like a drowning man's lifeline, getting slimed, pooped on, thrown off, kicked, stepped on. But I loved every minute of it. And now it's done. And I thought that was the hard part. Turned out I was wrong.

It's so very easy to get discouraged when you pour so much of yourself out and you can see God's hand orchestrating every move along the way to come to the end and feel like His hand has been removed. I mean - like- WHAT HAPPENED? What did I do wrong?

Hence the pity-party.  And now I'm done. *Straightens shoulders - lifts chin*

I didn't do anything wrong. I have to remember that. And I need to take to heart the words I keep hearing myself say to everybody else: "God is faithful."  So much for having a pity-party. Kinda hard if ya have to believe that right?

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