A new year is coming and with it new beginnings. As I write this, it’s 5 days until Christmas. The fireplace is going, the dog lying in front of it. The Christmas tree is lit up. Pandora is playing in the background. It’s a lovely cozy scene, except my hands are cold.
I don’t think I’m a great writer. I don’t pretend to have hugely inspirational things to say and my ramblings are random at best. I mostly find that my feelings and thoughts are summed up in others’ words, mostly those of musicians. How they manage to do it is beyond me. My good writing is usually in the something-many-page scientific research paper. Probably because I can let my completely nerdy self out and have at it. Trying to share your thoughts with people is a lot harder than it sounds.
I’ve been going through a different sort of journey this year than I thought I would. Nothing went the way I had planned. I was going to get a job right out of college. The Dream Job. Working with horses. Building that savings account back up. Working in the field that I had dreamed about since I was 7. Not so much. People would tell me “It’ll all work out.” “Keep looking.” “Have you tried this” “Did you look here?” “What are you doing with your time?” “Are you even looking?”
No. I’m not looking. I’m sitting on my bum, eating chocolate all day and twiddling my thumbs. And yes. I have looked here. And there. I’ve been looking. At least that’s what I wanted to say. But I didn’t. That’s because I know at the heart of it, those people care. They are concerned. They love me.
So yeah. My summer didn’t go exactly how I planned it. But in the big picture, that’s the beauty of it. If I had done all the things I had planned on – I wouldn’t have gotten to the things I didn’t plan on. Like going to Poland with my church team and meeting 25+ new amazing friends, and being a last minute kids camp counselor - meeting more new friends, going to help minister to my Grandma in Ohio and get her house in order so she can move out here to be with us, her family, taking a weekend trip to Nashville and Lexington with a cousin. None of those would have taken place if my life had worked out like I had planned. Thank God I’m not in charge.
My newest adventure is coming up in the New Year. I’m moving. Not just out of state. I’m moving out of the country. I got a job working for a Canadian company in Alberta, owned by my brother-in-law and his family. It’s not a job with horses. It’s not what I was hoping for. But then again, it is. I had been praying for work. And this is the door the God opened for work. It’s not the door I was expecting but it’s the door I’m walking through.
Moving has been an idea for so long, that the actuality of it seems a little strange and slightly daunting. I’m excited about the change, but I know it’ll be hard leaving everything that is familiar and dear here. The bonus is that I’ll be living with my older sister and her family. That will make a difference. Friends that have been in similar situations have been very encouraging. It’s a new place and new people. And no matter where I go, I’m still in Jesus’ hands. That’s the best part.
“Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low.
Oh no You never let go
Lord you never let go of me.”